Walking with parents of children with developmental trauma / RAD
Where to start.
Wherever you are right now, there’s a next step that fits. Choose the one that sounds most like you.
First, safety. Then, a call.
If anyone is in danger right now
If your child, you, or anyone in your home is at risk of being hurt, call 911 or your local emergency number.
In the US you can also call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time of day. You can call on behalf of your child, not only for yourself.
Coaching is for the long road. It isn’t an emergency service, and it’s never a reason to wait.
If no one is in immediate danger but this week has been one of the worst yet, you don’t need to have it all figured out before you reach out. Request a free call and tell me as much or as little as you want. I’ll call you personally within 24 to 48 hours, usually sooner.
I’ve lived the ER visits, the inpatient stays, the 911 calls and the neighbours watching. Nothing you tell me will shock me, and nothing you tell me will be met with judgment.
What the outside world sees
- Put physical safety first — yours, your other children's, and your child's
- Lower your voice and slow down. Arguing with a dysregulated brain goes nowhere
- Reduce the audience. Siblings in another room, fewer words, fewer people
- Don't try to teach the lesson tonight. That conversation can wait
- When it's over, write down what happened while it's fresh
- Tell one safe person. You were not meant to carry this alone
Their brain was built
somewhere else.
In the first years of life, a child’s brain wires itself for trust through thousands of small moments — a cry, an answer, a cry, an answer. When those moments are missing or frightening, the pathways for connection don’t form the way they should. The brain builds for survival instead.
That’s why a child can be charming with everyone outside and unrecognisable the moment the door closes. It’s why consequences don’t land and reasoning doesn’t hold. And it’s why typical parenting advice keeps failing you — not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it was written for a different kind of brain.
Understanding this is the first real turning point for most parents. Two good places to start:
One step at a time —
together.
This is what one-on-one coaching is for. Private sessions built entirely around your child and your household. You bring the week you’ve just had, we work out what to try differently, and I stay with you while you try it.
No script, no judgment, and no starting from the beginning every time. Coaching is something we’ll talk through on your free call, so you’ll know exactly what it looks like before you commit to anything.
- Private, online, from anywhere
- Sixteen years of lived experience with RAD
- Practical strategies, and help staying regulated yourself
You may be their lifeline.
Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, pastors, teachers — the people around a family raising a child with RAD often make the biggest difference to whether that family holds together. Most of them don’t know how to help, and some, without meaning to, make it harder.
The 6-week class is open to you, not only to parents. It will help you understand what the family is living with, and why it looks so different from the outside.
What the outside world sees
- Believe the parents, even when the child is lovely with you
- Don't get pulled into taking sides. Check with the parents before you step in
- Follow the family's rules and routines, even when they seem strict
- Offer practical help. A meal, an errand, an hour of quiet
- Ask the parents how they're doing, not only how the child is doing
- Keep showing up. Isolation is one of the hardest parts of this
Let's start with a
conversation.
home and I’ll tell you honestly whether I can help.